Woman In A Jungle
The last time I wrote a blog post was in 2015 and five years later I am ecstatic to say, I am back on the scene. So much has happened and as I look back now, I would do it all over again. A few months ago, I sat down in the middle of the night and carefully recounted the woman I was then. I even went further back to the little girl I used to be. I felt like old me was stronger and a better version. This deceitful thought led me to think that I had lost what I used to be and I was full of regret. I prayed and begged God to make me into a strong woman once again. I felt like everything I was then, was no more. My google photos timeline made it worse, I saw the youth, the beauty, the glory and I was jealous. When I met people and poured my heart out, I always told them how I wished I could go back in time and be the younger me.
This is a truth and part of my life I swore I would never open up about, so I kept it hidden for so long. I now feel confident enough to make known what was unknown then. The growth, and truths I have come to learn, I feel I must share and see that someone else is able to walk out of the flames renewed. We adore things that are beautiful, and forget that these things must be made. I want to weave with words, my making, and how I have become the woman I have longed to be.
The reason I called this post Woman in a jungle is because the reality around us is a jungle. This word has its root in Sanskrit, an ancient Indian language. Knowing this, made my chubby face light up because I have Indian roots too. The original word is Jangla, which actually means a dry place and in Urdu it means a thick forest.
When I look back, younger me would have handled this jungle much better than I am. Wrong presumption, younger me did not have the knowledge and understanding I have grown into. She was very passionate, full of fire, unaware of the jungle, and completely lacking in knowledge of God and everything else around her. I do miss her, but now I must glory in the woman I have become today.
The jungle concept, is that the world and society around us is vast, wild, untamed, and hard to live in. People are swinging from branch to branch, betraying one another, and wearing camouflage. No one is themselves, and their true selves is tucked away. The law of dominance,
that only the strong will survive is in continuous motion. Laws of nature are at the core of this thick forest and if one is to survive, they need strength. The weak are forgotten and completely destroyed in the jungle.
When I started working in Geneva, my supervisor spoke to me in all honesty and told me that where I was working was in fact a jungle. He said I had to rise up and show my true bold self, and display my confidence. I wish I had heard these words from another woman going through my similar situation, but this wisdom came from a man. In all humility I took his advice and chose not to despise him for his wise counsel.
Strength is the weapon you must wield in this jungle, don't you lay low by disguising yourself in humility, you will be destroyed. Strength in heart, soul and mind. Strength to be the woman you are today, a sum of all your experiences, a work and a true masterpiece.
This is a truth and part of my life I swore I would never open up about, so I kept it hidden for so long. I now feel confident enough to make known what was unknown then. The growth, and truths I have come to learn, I feel I must share and see that someone else is able to walk out of the flames renewed. We adore things that are beautiful, and forget that these things must be made. I want to weave with words, my making, and how I have become the woman I have longed to be.
The reason I called this post Woman in a jungle is because the reality around us is a jungle. This word has its root in Sanskrit, an ancient Indian language. Knowing this, made my chubby face light up because I have Indian roots too. The original word is Jangla, which actually means a dry place and in Urdu it means a thick forest.
When I look back, younger me would have handled this jungle much better than I am. Wrong presumption, younger me did not have the knowledge and understanding I have grown into. She was very passionate, full of fire, unaware of the jungle, and completely lacking in knowledge of God and everything else around her. I do miss her, but now I must glory in the woman I have become today.
The jungle concept, is that the world and society around us is vast, wild, untamed, and hard to live in. People are swinging from branch to branch, betraying one another, and wearing camouflage. No one is themselves, and their true selves is tucked away. The law of dominance,
When I started working in Geneva, my supervisor spoke to me in all honesty and told me that where I was working was in fact a jungle. He said I had to rise up and show my true bold self, and display my confidence. I wish I had heard these words from another woman going through my similar situation, but this wisdom came from a man. In all humility I took his advice and chose not to despise him for his wise counsel.
Strength is the weapon you must wield in this jungle, don't you lay low by disguising yourself in humility, you will be destroyed. Strength in heart, soul and mind. Strength to be the woman you are today, a sum of all your experiences, a work and a true masterpiece.
Master the jungle and you will conquer it. I am glad you are on your way...
ReplyDeleteI've of late tried to put myself in a womans shoes, its after I started to debunk the stereotypes I've unintentionally had of women generated by osmosis whether from hollywood or the patriarchal system that have and soon to be used to have. These feelings are also ignited whenever I meet a strong woman, and like you said a persons mind and I may add a womans mind is a powerhouse. But for a time i've thought how would I feel if I was in her shoes, what if there is a rebirth and with that once a man then reborn a woman; I can imagin what girls have had to put up with for 6000+ years of being pushed around, raped and abused, made to feel like they only came second and at times didn't count at all. But everywhere I look the tide is changing, and as an african male knowing what it feel to be trumped upon and abused I feel delight for the lady, her time is long over due, she has suffered dearly but she's still here! And that shows she resilience and strenght and speaks truth that she has a destiny that is as beautiful as the stars shining with darkness. I wish men had never done to women what they did, just as I wish slavery never happen; millions of women have been poisoned with anger and heatred, some have risen above it. But am sorry to every woman who has been abused by me, defiled, belittled, scorned upon and betrayed, am sorry for times I showed sexism and misogyny, for infidelity and domestic violence...the list will stop and in the future it has ended! I speak on behalf of all men, "for those who have seen the truth!"
ReplyDeleteWow, this is fantastic, love it so much ....
ReplyDelete