I Am Not Beautiful Like You, I Am Beautiful Like Me

 A while ago, I felt compelled to start a campaign with a girlfriend of mine to encourage women to love their beauty and find inner strength. When I met this black beauty, she was extremely confident and she loved the way she looked. She knew she was beautiful and was not afraid to be herself. She and I wanted to call this campaign the strength, beauty and love campaign. Our major concerns, were how several women were locked  up in cages of fear and insecurities about how they looked with or without makeup. This fear was reinforced by their background coming from a third world setting. We felt that growing up in Africa, meant that we never saw our true African beauty projected out there and that true beauty was what we saw on television out there in the world. We saw how several girls grew up afraid to wear makeup, or do their nails because it projected an unacceptable image. All we wanted to be was good girls, keep that beauty tucked away or hidden and to never accentuate it.

When I was growing up, I saw the way my mom was drawn to things of beauty. She wore makeup, did her hair often, made sure her nails were always excellent, and always had hair removed. She loved to go to the spa, and enjoyed being pampered. I was exposed to this life, and only wanted to experience it in full. 

Several years later, I became hang up on the natural beauty aspect, believing that when someone was drawn to me, it would be because i had true beauty. My presumption was that true beauty meant there were no additives and that it presented itself naturally. This mindset kept me from putting chemicals in my hair and at some point kept me from ironing it. I struggled for months trying to keep up with the whole "naturalista campaign", kicked out all the makeup and focused on being a plain natural beauty. I even stopped hair removal, because I felt like it was too much and going overboard. 

Present day, I am accepting that beauty is not defined, and we have no right to say what is beautiful and what it is not. We are so obsessed with what beauty is, that we want to attribute it to some and deny others of having it. We do not want to acknowledge that it can be found in unlikely places and especially those that are never celebrated. Society has taught us beauty extremes, you either are with or without. These measurements and descriptions have kept us from finding ourselves and finding a balance. Women are unable to love themselves in whichever form they are in and continue to despise themselves or each other. They are made to feel like they have to pick a side, a naturalista or a plastic woman obsessed with what is unreal. 

I have learnt to accept that beauty is versatile, and it must be brought out to the surface. In order for others to see it, it must be brought out, front and center, . Your power is your ability to understand that you are not like everyone else and ought not to be like everyone else. What works for you must be quickly exposed in order to avoid being kept in an extremist category. You do not have to dedicate yourself to a cause that was created by someone else, because that cause was never made to suit everyone. You must figure out what works for you and run with it. 

True happiness comes to you when you are able to express yourself and what you truly love. When a woman grows in freedom and liberty, she is then able to express her true beauty and happiness. Her ability to bravely show the world what she loves is what sets her a part. The reason why we are quickly drawn to all kinds of beauty movements, is because the person at the front line is confident enough to rise up and stand for what they believe in. They are able to gain followers, because they have mastery over an idea, image or concept and are able to quickly win over many. Each woman must learn to harness her own power and confidence to express her unique beauty. Only then can she truly be set a part and be able to express herself freely. The true equation for beauty is that it is made manifest with time. With time, a woman grows in understanding and mastery, she is able to display and define her own beauty.